Requirements, Requirements, Requirements

Now I’m not one to generally take pictures in public restrooms but this one required it.  This is the sign on top of the urinal at a restaurant/bar I frequented near my prior place of employment.  Note “at a bar”.  Someone had the bright idea of putting in very fashionable urinals “AT A BAR” that had smooth curved tops.  Just the right place for the average male 6 beers to the wind to place has recently acquired glass of Blue Moon.  I wonder how many such glasses landed gracefully on the floor before the sign was installed?

No I understand that it’s both expensive and time consuming to replace bathroom fixtures, especially sleek fashionable ones, but there is  a workaround…How about a shelf?

Royal Flush

I believe I experienced my first fully automated public men’s room.  In the Detroit airport no less (which BTW is one of the nicest airports I’ve been through).  Anyway, it’s always bugged me that every component in a men’s room can be automated, toilet, urinal, faucet, soap dispenser, towel dispenser, hand dryer (Detroit has both towel dispenser and hand dryers!), but every one I’ve ever been in has had a non-automated version of at least one of them. 

Well, it appears that my quest for complete automation is finally over and we can all be thankful for that!

Farewell, Best Wishes and New Beginnings

So after weeks of excitement and energy and general giddiness that I was leaving my job, and especially after finding one and giving formal notice, I showed up on my last day, packed up my stuff, sent out my farewell email and left with a profound sense of sadness.  It wasn’t the job, it was more like I was no longer part of the club.  I am now an outsider.  I no longer have anyone to bitch about my job to and even if I did, it is no longer my job.  It is no longer my company.  The place and people that had been such an integral part of my life for 14 years is no longer mine.  I was anchorless and alone. 

I woke up much the same this morning.  Several times throughout the day I checked my email, hoping almost that there was some crisis that only I could solve, but there wasn’t.  Intellectually, I accept my own insignificance, the sun will still rise and the work will go on.  But it’s a bit tough to actually live through.

Tuesday will be a whole new beginning.  I can’t wait.

Places of Note From Ripon - “Ta Luv”

 

“We are two countries, separated by a common language”.  That was very evident when, soon after moving to Ripon, the cashier at the Boots Pharmacy above, says “ta luv” (“thanks love” in American) to mum after completing her transaction.

Mum was quite taken aback by being referred to as the cashier’s “love”.  I don’t recall if she expressed that to the cashier but she certainly did to us afterwards.

Places of Note From Ripon - The Lead Lane Chippy

We inevitably ended up here after whatever party or disco we went to on Friday or Saturday night for a bag of greasy chips that we subsequently soaked in malt vinegar.  A special item not on the menu was “scraps”.  Basically, a bag of the batter crumbs scooped out of the fish case.  We soaked these in malt vinegar as well.

While in Ripon, my dad reminded me of one of their delicacies that I’d forgotten about, pineapple fritters.  Pineapple rings covered in the same batter as the fish, and deep fried…Mmmmmm….

Places of Note From Ripon – Disco Fever

What did those Riponians under the age of 18 do to occupy the time on Friday and Saturday night?  We often went to “discos”.  Now these weren’t Studio 54, mirror ball, polyester suit discos.  Just a DJ and a hall playing British top 40, the good, the bad and the bloody ugly.

Now, I don’t recall all of the locations.  There was one in Kirby, I recall it being quite a ways out of Ripon, the Saint John’s Ambulance hall on North Street and the Methodist Church Youth Club below.

Now I remember a few common things about these discos:

• I don’t recall anyone ever being a member of the Methodist Church Youth Club
• Despite being for the under 16/18 crowd, and, except for St. John’s Ambulance, not having a bar, we always managed to get “pissed” (English for drunk, not angry, “legless” is drunk off your ass)
• You could barely see five feet in front of you for all the cigarette smoke.
• The first song to get everyone on the dance floor was often “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
• We usually ended up head banging to some Spinal Tapesqe heavy metal.

There’s one incident in particular I remember.  There were a few of us headed to the Methodist Church one night.  In preparation, I’d performed the age old trick of skimming a bit of liquor from each of the bottles in my parents liquor cabinet.

I think others must have done the same or somehow procured other forms of alcohol.  Anyway, we all end up getting a bit drunk.  Barno, however, get’s completely legless.  We all end up outside at some point and Barno’s sitting on the wall below where he proceeds to fall backwards off of it.

At some point Barno get’s completely sick as well.  Not sure if that’s why we were outside.  Anyway, one of the nice church ladies ends up calling someone’s parents to give everyone a ride home. 

And the funny thing is, is that I actually remember her being nice, not all pissy and scolding as I’d imagine it would be at some Methodist church over here.

Places of Note From Ripon - Site of First Relationship Disaster

 

 

It was at one of the benches above, or a predecessor thereof, facing the bowling green below, that I was dumped for the first time. 

I wasn’t so much dumped as abandoned.  I don’t recall her name and have only a vague recollection of the face.  Anyway, I think we’d been going out for a couple of weeks and for whatever reason were spending a weekend afternoon at the Spa Gardens.

So at some point she gets up to go to the loo or get something from the cafe, never to return, leaving me alone and sniffling on the bench.

And thus were sown the seeds of my musical career writing such touching lines as “You look into the land of the living and you want to cry” and “I wake up screaming in the night, where are you now?”.